Čo vás rozosmialo?

:lol: nj... guru! :) :)

zo stranky ninajov svet:

Nejak nikto nepamata na PERLU Milana Malatinskeho pred x rokmi na stadione myslim Trnavy.

Nie je to komentator, ale stoji to za to!

Niekto s nim tesne po vyhratom zapase robil live interview,a jeho reakcia bola,foneticky:

"Toto potrebuvau trnafsky dyvak!".

+ za nim poskakovali nejaki mali chalani, chceli aby ich bolo vidiet v TV, a Malina sa na nich otocil: "Hybajte do p*ce vy k*k*ty!"

:lol: :) :) ;) ;) ;)

jeden rozkošný, ale pravdepodobne nezrealizovateľný románik... :lol: :)

Dnes som bola pozrieť rodinu. Všetci boli takí vyvalení, že JA som prišla, že ma zavalili prachmi a strýkovia boli celí nadržaní :lol: (od jedného mám 500,-, od toho chudobnejšieho 200 :) ). Popritom som si pripomenula goralský slovník (veseľe - svadba - to sa jeden strýko pýtal, či mám chlopaka, že chce ísť na veseľe :) )

A bratránek s bráchom spomínali na brigádu na stavbe... no dovi dopo! ;)

edit: a od krstného som dostala slaninu a hurky (že mám dať spolužiačkam... no psina! ;) )

vcera som sa dohadovala s kamosom ohladne chaty

a tak som sa opytala co tam vlastne tie dni budeme robit,..a on odpovedal:

"chlastat, žrát a souložit" :lol: :) :)

nemozem uprimne povedat ze by som sa tesila ;)

kamoška chodila na takéto chaty, ale oni tam: chlastali, žrali, súložili a hulili :lol:

vlastne to bolo včera... v noci... stála som s bratom pri okne a hľadeli sme ako sneží... a uvedomili sme si, že to vôbec nie je sneh... ono to sú africké muchy, ktoré sa spálili až dobiela a rozhodli sa priletieť k nám, akurát že nerátali s tým, že u nás mrzne, tak teraz zmrznuté padali na zem...

kamarát má voľný byt niekoľko dní a pár ďalších sa k nemu nasáčkovalo aj s počítačmi a majú LAN-party

skapem z nich a že ja som závislák :lol:

Ale, pred dvoma dnami ma fakt rozosmiala jedna baba z chatu, skratka sa jej zadarilo povedat nieco v mojom style humoru, take mile.....

dneska som sa pobavil na tejto správe, čo mi prišla

kamoška chodila na takéto chaty, ale oni tam: chlastali, žrali, súložili a hulili :lol:

No a na com som sa zasmiala dnes ja? Jackess 2...to su trubky :)

log z jedneho chatu :lol: :) :)

btw fakt stoji za to citat to slovo po slove ;)

sweet17: Hi

bloodninja: hello

bloodninja: who is this?

sweet17: just a someone?

bloodninja: A someone I know?

sweet17: nope

bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?

sweet17: well sorrrrrry

sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you

bloodninja: why?

sweet17: nevermind your an jerk

bloodninja: Hey wait a minute

sweet17: yes?

bloodninja: look I’m sorry. I’m just a little paranoid

sweet17: paranoid?

bloodninja: yes

sweet17: of what?

sweet17: me?

bloodninja: No. I’m in hiding.

sweet17: LOL

bloodninja: Don’t f#cking laugh at me!

bloodninja: This shit is serious!

sweet17: What are you hiding from?

bloodninja: The cops.

sweet17: gimme a f#cking break

bloodninja: I’m serious.

sweet17: I don’t get it

bloodninja: The cops are after me.

sweet17: For what?

bloodninja: I’m wanted in three states

sweet17: For???

bloodninja: It’s kindof embarrasing.

bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.

bloodninja: Hello?

sweet17: You are f#cking sick.

bloodninja: Send me your picture.

sweet17: why?

bloodninja: so I know you aren’t one of them.

sweet17: One of what?

bloodninja: The cops.

sweet17: I’m not a cop i told you

bloodninja: Then send me your picture.

sweet17: hold on

bloodninja: Hurry up.

bloodninja: Are you there?

bloodninja: f#ck you, cop!

sweet17: Hey sorry

sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.

bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.

bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.

bloodninja: Weren’t you!?

sweet17: thats not it

bloodninja: Then what?

sweet17: I don’t want to send you the picture cause I’m not pretty

bloodninja: Most cops aren’t

sweet17: IM NOT A F#CKIN COP YOU DICKSHIT!

bloodninja: Then send me the picture.

sweet17: fine. What’s your e-mail?

bloodninja: Just send it through here.

sweet17: alright *PIC*

sweet17: Did you get it?

bloodninja: Hold on. I’m looking.

sweet17: That was me back in may

sweet17: I’ve lost weight since then.

bloodninja: I hope so

sweet17: what?!?

sweet17: that hurt my feelings.

bloodninja: Did it?

sweet17: Yes. I’m not that much smaller than that now.

bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?

sweet17: yes

bloodninja: Alright let me find it.

sweet17: kks

bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*

sweet17: this isn’t you.

bloodninja: I’ll be damned if it ain’t!

sweet17: You don’t look like that.

bloodninja: How the hell do you know?

sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.

bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.

bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.

sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol

bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy….

bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.

sweet17: Go f#ck yourself

bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture

bloodninja: Now my unit won’t get hard for a week.

sweet17: I shouldn’t have sent you that picture.

sweet17: You’ve done nothing but slam me.

sweet17: you hurt me.

bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn’t hurt me?

sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!

bloodninja: Why would I do that?

sweet17: I can’t believe that cops are after you

bloodninja: I can’t believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..

sweet17: F#CK YOU!!!

bloodninja: You’d break both of his legs.

sweet17: You’re a f#cking wanker!

sweet17: I’ve been teased my whole life because of my weight

sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don’t even know me

bloodninja: Ok. I’m sorry.

sweet17: No you aren’t

bloodninja: You’re right. I’m not.

bloodninja: HAARRRRR!

sweet17: I’m done with you

bloodninja: Aww. I’m sorry.

sweet17: I’m putting you on ignore

bloodninja: Wait a sec

bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.

bloodninja: Wanna start over?

sweet17: No

bloodninja: I’ll eat your kitty

sweet17: You’ll what?

bloodninja: You heard me.

bloodninja: I said I’d eat your kitty.

sweet17: I thought you said you couldn’t get it hard after seeing my

picture

bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?

sweet17: I’d like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes

bloodninja: Well I’m not like most men.

bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.

sweet17: Like what?

bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?

sweet17: I don’t know

bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.

sweet17: I’m afraid to

bloodninja: Why?

sweet17: cause

bloodninja: cause why?

sweet17: well lets see

sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you

wanna eat me out

sweet17: doesn’t that seem strange to you?

bloodninja: Nope

sweet17: well its strange to me

bloodninja: Fine. I won’t do it if you don’t want me to

sweet17: I didn’t say that

bloodninja: So is that a yes?

sweet17: I guess so.

bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.

bloodninja: Are you willing?

sweet17: What do you need me to do?

bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.

sweet17: ???

bloodninja: When I start to go limp… you say “HARRRR!!!”

bloodninja: ok?

bloodninja: Hello?

sweet17: You can’t be serious

bloodninja: Oh yes I am!

bloodninja: It’s my fantasy.

sweet17: this is retarded

bloodninja: Do you want it or not?

sweet17: Yes I want it.

bloodninja: Then you’ll do it for me?

sweet17: sure

bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.

bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your

thighs.

bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up

against them

bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.

bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt.

sweet17: mmmm yeah

bloodninja: uh oh …going limp.

sweet17: Har

bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!

bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.

sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR

bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with

every stroke.

bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my

mouth.

bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to

my nose.

bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.

sweet17: mmmmmm you are good

bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I f#ck harder

bloodninja: going limp

sweet17: HARRRRRRR

bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.

bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.

bloodninja: going limp

sweet17: this is stupid

bloodninja: …still limp

bloodninja: Do it!

sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR

bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.

bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.

bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.

sweet17: WTF?!?!?

bloodninja: They stink really bad.

sweet17: OMG STOP!!!

bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass

bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.

bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.

sweet17: YOURE A F#CKING PYSCHO!!

bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.

bloodninja: And turn you into a f#cking candy apple…

bloodninja: I kick you in the face!

sweet17: F#CK YOU DICKHEAD!!

bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin…

bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.

bloodninja: …going limp again.

bloodninja: Hello?

bloodninja: Say it!

bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

btw, komu nedoslo, co je kitty, tak v PM ;)

čierny humor zo života

niekedy sú náhody úžasné

po nie práve najpríjemnejších správach u lekára návrat domov a vybavovanie nahromadených odkazov ... hneď prvé volané číslo sa ozvalo : prosím, patológia :lol:

nie je zle mať všade známosti :)

Scénu z jedného filmu :) - ale mi robia hanbu :)

weirdo - ROOOOOOFL ;):lol:;)

pokracovanie bloodninja #2

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They F#cking charge your ass.

j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.

bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

j_gurli3: thats it.

bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

:lol: :) hlavne ten predposledny prispevok stoji za to :)

Komu v noci nesli mms, alebo nocne dianie na nasom irc kanale

03:54 <@Elsir> alebo prespi v robote :P
03:54 <@Elsir> sa tam zloz na dve hodinky .. potom uz pojdu prve spoje :)
03:57 <@sopinko> Elsir: no neviem
03:57 <@sopinko> ako sa poznam
03:57 <@sopinko> tak by som sa zobudil
03:57 <@sopinko> zajtra okolo obeda :D
03:57 <@Elsir> saq si das budika
03:57 <@Elsir> :)
03:57 <@sopinko> Elsir: no este to tak
03:57 <@sopinko> spanok si budem kazit
03:57 <@Elsir> alebo si nalep na chrbat cedulku ze "zobudte ma susky" :)
03:58 <@sopinko> Elsir: no neviem neviem, ci to je to prave orechove
03:59 <@sopinko> za najvacsiu susku budem aj tak ja zajtra :D
03:59 <@Elsir> hehe
03:59 <@sopinko> lebo som spravil orange-u bez mala 50 minutovy downtime
				 mms/gprs
04:00 <@Elsir> na jakom velkom uzemi? :P
04:00 <@sopinko> Elsir: celoplosne :D
04:00 <@Elsir> hehehhe
04:00 <@Elsir> sikovny
04:00 <@Elsir> :P
04:00 <@sopinko> tak ale tiez ######i
04:01 <@sopinko> kolega ma dovolenku
04:01 <@sopinko> ktory s tymi deviceami robi kazdu chvilu
04:01 <@sopinko> a ze hm... sopinko to dako spravi
04:01 <@Elsir> :))
04:01 <@sopinko> a hlavna vec, ze sopinko tie device zatial len videl
04:01 <@sopinko> ale nikdy nekonfiguroval :)

dnes som chytila krc smiechu na namesti v Hradisti....kamarat mi pripomenul jednu momentku spred dvoch rokov

intrak, jedna noc, velka postel, dvaja chlapi, dve zenske, a zrovna ten "moj" zlyhal...a kecy okolo toho :lol:

no prdel :)

Na jednom banánovom portáli, ktorý ponúka hosting a registráciu domén ma zaujala jedna ikonka:

Pod ňou text:

Úvod do začátku

Prvním krok se seznámíme s PHPBB. Co to je? To je plně nastavitelný "program" na vytváření diskuzních fór (příklad diskuzního fóra PHPBB).

Keď som klikol na link příklad diskuzního fóra PHPBB dostal som toto:

phpBB : Critical Error 

Error creating new session

DEBUG MODE

SQL Error : 1016 Can't open file: 'phpbb_sessions.MYI' (errno: 145)

INSERT INTO phpbb_sessions (session_id, session_user_id, session_start, session_time, session_ip, session_page, session_logged_in) VALUES ('cd48e30609cde17eb6518ca408a5e8e1', -1, 1168206466, 1168206466, '5587a959', 0, 0)

Line : 158
File : sessions.php

Prezentácia jak hovado :lol:

- Chodte za serzantem Tracnikem.

- To je ten tlusty?

- Jo.

- Proc sebou chova tu opici?

- Myslim, ze mluvite o desatnikovi Noblhochovi.

- To je clovek?! :lol:

kamoske som povedala nech mi z Manchesteru donesie moje veci /kedze som si tam pre nedostatok miesta v kufri nechala par kusov oblecenia/

no a ona mi doniesla moje "eroticke vybavenicko" :lol: :) /puta, sexi spodne pradielko, nocne kosielky/

povedala som jej,nech z tej kopy veci oblecenia vyberie veci ktore podla jej usudku budem potrebovat, a ona mi priniesla tamto :)

doll: Asi sa Ti to fakt bude hodit. :lol:

No, tu a tam sa stane, ze kolegovci v dobrej novorocnej nalade nieco zabiju a potom sa na tom rehocem....

Ale...dvaja kolegovci z druhej fakulty su taka zabavna dvojica, ze pri nich sa neda nezasmiat, kua, smiechu za Tatru, kupi niekto?

No ja som sa zasmiala na sebe a na svojom popletenom jazyku :) Bola som na olympiade z angliny a hovorila som picture story... Chcela som povedat ".....a poor pizza delivery man who lived on the top of the hill in a small wooden cabin." No nejak to nevyslo a povedala som cabbage :lol: No co, rozpravka, tak nemoze donasac pizze byvat v drevenej kapuste??

Kolega ma nacapal pri mojej vlastnej chybe, ked som akurat narobil bordel z polievky po celej izbe a utrusil som nejaku poznamku na adresu niekolkych ludi, ktori ani polievky nezvladaju, ale to nie je moj pripad, ze to je len nahoda. No on si stihol rypnut a ked som sa pozrel na tu spust, tak mi ta situacia prisla dost na uchecht. Smial som sa na vlastnej nesikovnosti, to treba obcas tiez.... :lol: